Y'all know I don't really believe in "perfectionism" as it's often framed in popular culture. (See prior post on overcoming perfectionism .) Something else that often gets confused with perfectionism, is what I call "All-or-nothing-ism." All-or-nothing-ism is the belief that one must put in a certain amount of time, or perform at a certain intensity, or else it’s not enough and doesn’t count. I have to exercise for an hour, five days a week, or it doesn’t count. I have to wri

What IS perfectionism, exactly? And do you have it?  The way it’s tossed around these days, it sounds like a consequence of unreasonably high standards. But I don’t buy it. I think we’re conflating two entirely different things, and it’s keeping us confused and stuck.  The Perfectionist vs. The “Too Much of a Perfectionist”  The Perfectionist, to concede for a moment that there is such a thing, is a person with unusually high (erm, particular) standards that INSISTS on meetin

“I always sabotage myself.” “I can’t seem to get out of my own way.” "I’ll do okay for a while, then…” “I’ll get close, then…” It sounds sneakily humble, doesn’t it? It’s our “perfectionism,” or we have some core wound of unworthiness. We don’t deserve this dream/goal/accomplishment. We don’t deserve this better life that we crave.  I was praying and intending this morning and found myself almost pleading, “I just want to live more from my heart. I just want to get out of my