"Progress not perfection" is quite the buzz phrase these days. A lot of people find it useful, and that’s a good thing. For some of us, it sounds like we’re being asked to settle, to lower our expectations of ourselves, and this can backfire. Why bother if we can’t achieve what we're after? Why make the effort for some piddly little progress that feels like nothing?  What does it mean to practice "progress not perfection"? The missing link here is in how to be purposeful wi

My client taught me a fantastic new motto. “I’m not in it to win it; I’m in it to finish it!”  She’s in the home stretch of finishing her BS degree, having gone back to school after many years in the working world. It’s an abrupt transition, and it’s been tough, especially for an adult with ADHD. Plus, now with many university programs conducted entirely online, it's even harder to manage her time, motivation and executive function.  Many times she’s feared being unable to fi

“I’m not sure I would rub that lamp.” It was a seemingly innocuous question on the surface, and it brought my client to tears. I had asked her if she could rub a magic lamp and be granted one wish (in relation to our coaching goals), what would it be? There was a moment of stunned silence, and she started to cry. “I’m not sure I would rub that lamp,” she said. Why would this be? Why would she not want to be magically granted her wish, with nothing further required of her? “Be

Do your boundaries come with question marks? If your boundaries come with question marks, they're not really boundaries. They're just suggestions. Boundaries aren't rules for other people. They’re rules for you , the boundary-setter. You are the only one that can honor them. WHAT MOST PEOPLE THINK A BOUNDARY IS: I express a preference, or make a request, and the other person obliges without resistance or question. WHAT A BOUNDARY IS: I state what I’m available for, or willin