When we think of productivity, or being more productive, we’re generally talking about receipts for time . This is how we’ve learned to live, and this is an insane way to live.  Making sure we account for ourselves every hour of the day, or else we’re not worthy humans. Making sure to earn our rest and our rewards. If we haven’t put enough work in, we do not deserve to enjoy ourselves! We do not deserve to pass “go”!  But what is it all for?  Is it really about what we have t

"Progress not perfection" is quite the buzz phrase these days. A lot of people find it useful, and that’s a good thing. For some of us, it sounds like we’re being asked to settle, to lower our expectations of ourselves, and this can backfire. Why bother if we can’t achieve what we're after? Why make the effort for some piddly little progress that feels like nothing?  What does it mean to practice "progress not perfection"? The missing link here is in how to be purposeful wi

My client taught me a fantastic new motto. “I’m not in it to win it; I’m in it to finish it!”  She’s in the home stretch of finishing her BS degree, having gone back to school after many years in the working world. It’s an abrupt transition, and it’s been tough, especially for an adult with ADHD. Plus, now with many university programs conducted entirely online, it's even harder to manage her time, motivation and executive function.  Many times she’s feared being unable to fi

“They called me an R&B artist, so I put out a jazz album,” Ray Charles said to Willie Nelson. “Then they started calling me a jazz artist, so I sang country. Now they don’t know what the f*** to call me, and that’s just the way I like it.’” -- this according to Willie Nelson’s autobiography, “It’s a Long Story,” perfectly titled IMO! Ray and Willie had had similar experiences bucking against the mold that record producers and executives were trying to force them into. (Can yo

Y'all know I don't really believe in "perfectionism" as it's often framed in popular culture. (See prior post on overcoming perfectionism .) Something else that often gets confused with perfectionism, is what I call "All-or-nothing-ism." All-or-nothing-ism is the belief that one must put in a certain amount of time, or perform at a certain intensity, or else it’s not enough and doesn’t count. I have to exercise for an hour, five days a week, or it doesn’t count. I have to wri

What IS perfectionism, exactly? And do you have it?  The way it’s tossed around these days, it sounds like a consequence of unreasonably high standards. But I don’t buy it. I think we’re conflating two entirely different things, and it’s keeping us confused and stuck.  The Perfectionist vs. The “Too Much of a Perfectionist”  The Perfectionist, to concede for a moment that there is such a thing, is a person with unusually high (erm, particular) standards that INSISTS on meetin

“I always sabotage myself.” “I can’t seem to get out of my own way.” "I’ll do okay for a while, then…” “I’ll get close, then…” It sounds sneakily humble, doesn’t it? It’s our “perfectionism,” or we have some core wound of unworthiness. We don’t deserve this dream/goal/accomplishment. We don’t deserve this better life that we crave.  I was praying and intending this morning and found myself almost pleading, “I just want to live more from my heart. I just want to get out of my