THE MISSING LINK TO YOUR MOTIVATION
- Gina Marks
- Feb 14
- 4 min read
If you can’t find motivation for something that feels important to you, a big goal, a meaningful change, then there is something else missing…the thing that comes before the motivation…the thing that lights the fire.
Popular wisdom refers to motivation (or “will power”) as this thing you summon, as if it’s a simple decision that’s always available to be made by anyone and everyone at all times…a selection from a vending machine, or a light switch you flip on and off.
If only!
In reality, motivation doesn’t work like this. It’s not a switch you flip on and off. It’s not something you summon by trying harder.
Motivation doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
If you can’t find motivation for something that feels important to you, then there is something else missing.
MOTIVE.
Motive is what fuels motivation.
Motive is the reason that compels the action. It’s the probable cause to do the improbable thing.
With the right motive, we’re capable of just about anything. Without it? Not so much.
Look back on your life. You haven’t made it this far without doing A LOT of things that were extremely challenging. You've solved problems. You've moved through uncertainty. You've learned new skills, weathered various life storms, perhaps graduated college or a training program, ran a marathon, tackled major projects like remodeling your home or building cars. Some of you raised a child or five.
What kept you going when the going got tough?
What pushed you to figure things out when you had no idea what you were going to do?
What gave you the courage to start in the first place, or take risks?
MOTIVE.
In every single instance, there was something you wanted more than what you had to give to give it.
Notice how many hard things you do today alone that you don’t actually want to do. Perhaps even some very difficult things. Pay attention to the reason you do it. You might be thinking you “have to.” NOPE. You never actually have to. There is always a choice, and that choice is fueled by the consequence that you are or are not willing to live with.
Conversely, you may do hard things (things that seem challenging to others) that you DON’T have to do, for the same reason. Doing it, or the reason for doing it, is more powerful than the reason for not doing it.
Every single thing in your life is fueled by motive, even if that motive is simply the comfort of this moment. It’s more comfortable to stay the same than it is to change, at least in the short-term.
If you long to be doing something else that you are not feeling motivated to do, it’s not motivation you’re missing. It’s motive.
It’s the reason compelling enough that it compels you into action.
Don’t mistake this for something more noble than it is, or than it has to be. Your motive doesn’t have to be noble. It may even be petty. (Not that I would know anything about that.)
Do you want to know how I got in the best shape of my life at 40 years old? I got sick of hearing all of my younger coworkers talk about women like me as a living death sentence. “Oh my god; I’m 30 and not married. I may as well give up and get a cat!” Ahem. Single, middle-aged cat lady over here. At this point in my life, I’m proud of it. At that point, however, they pissed me off.
I had something prove.
MOTIVE.
Man, nothing lights a fire under me like something to prove!
“Oh you think it's so terrible to be me? Well take this, haters!”
I worked my butt off, went to boot camp 4x/week, and posted an obnoxious bikini photo on my birthday saying, “Suck it, 40.” (Rumor has it, all of my ex's friends sent it to him. Teehee.)
I’ve since taken it down, because fortunately, my motives have changed, and I no longer want to feed the idea that looking a certain way means any particular thing about a person aside from that’s how they feel best.
Back to my point…
Motive isn’t the noble reason. It's the effective one.
No one even needs to know about it. The outcome can be positive, even if the motive is seemingly negative.
It’s not the should. It’s not the supposed-to.
It’s the going to. It’s the no-longer-willing-not-to.
If you’re struggling to find motivation to pursue a goal or change that’s really important to you, THIS is what you’re looking for.
MOTIVE.
Find this, and you’ll find your motivation.
Need some help?
Sometimes people struggle to identify their own motives.
These beliefs and emotions can be buried under a lifetime of conditioning.
I can help you identify what makes you tick, what has kicked you into gear in the past, and how you can apply this to your current goals. I offer single sessions specifically for conversations such as this. Use the contact form below to schedule.
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